Why does it feel like when, month after agonizing month, I finally feel like I'm making great progress and then learning that I've already been replaced which momentarily shreds any progress made? My heart is thrown into the meat grinder and I struggle as I'm slowly getting sucked back into the black hole of depression again. Satan has such a way of taking us when we thing we're back on our feet, capable of doing things on our own again, and he uses that pride to lead us astray.
It was a painful, but necessary time to remind me that Christ is my rock. He is the only One who loves me unconditionally and will never leave me. God is not going to dump me out like yesterday's garbage for someone new and more exciting--I don't have to perform or meet any standard to stay in His presence--and that is comforting. Why do I try to make people like me? Why to I try to be perfect? Why do I let others determine my worth? Because I'm human, and when I don't allow Christ to be in control, then I give that power over to others. Thankfully, He is always there, just waiting for me to run back into His arms and let Him handle my stress, sadness, and worries. I don't know what I would do without God...
1 comment:
I just wanted you to know that I read this, and that it gives me oppertunity to pray for you. I guess I just wanted you to know that I think about you a lot, and that God has laid you on my heart almost on a weekly basis for over a year, which is strange, because we were never that close, but then God is strange...Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I was/am praying.
Kelly Erdman
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